Coronavirus: Tips for parents on speaking to children
Friday, February 28, 2020 9:29PM WABC-TV Eyewitness NewsMELVILLE, Long Island -- Many parents are struggling with how to speak with their children about the coronavirus, and kids are understandably concerned.
Child psychologist Dr. Jonathan Kratter offered tips for parents when it comes to discussing the worldwide outbreak.
Dr. Kratter said the last thing a parent should tell a child who's expressed concern over the coronavirus is "don't worry."
"When parents tell their kids, 'Just don't worry about it, it won't affect you, it won't bother you,' kids feel like they're not being heard," he said. "What's better is to say, 'Tell me what you're worried about? What have you heard in school? What are the kids saying?' And then together, they can explore what's real, what's not real."
Dr. Kratter says parents should be checking in with their children often regarding what they are hearing about the coronavirus.
"One time at the dinner table isn't enough because it's a constant source of news lately," he said.
Dr. Kratter said even teenagers need to be told details and facts.
"Not just the rumors going around," he said.
Dr. Kratter said parents themselves have to be models of calmness when talking about the coronavirus in front of their children. If parents seem to be anxious, children will grow anxious as well.
"Parents need to really kind of model the way to handle it, which is to think about it, talk about it," he said.
View broadcast: https://abc7ny.com/health/tips-for-parents-on-speaking-to-children-about-coronavirus-/5974154/
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LIFESTYLEFAMILYNEWSDAY SPECIAL REPORTWhen your kids become your 'co-workers,' a LI tale of working from home By Lisa Irizarry
lisa.irizarry@newsday.com @lisairizUpdated March 26, 2020 2:16 PM
Newsday is opening this story to all readers as we provide Long Islanders with news and information you can use during the coronavirus outbreak. All readers can learn the latest news at newsday.com/LiveUpdates.
Melville clinical psychologist Jonathan Kratter, says having their children around all day during their telecommuting can cause “additional stress” for the parent not used to working from home regularly, but he said it’s difficult for children too. It can be confusing to kids and cause them to act out.
“I’ve had emergency online sessions where kids were off their mark, parents were out of sorts … You have to recognize that for kids this experience feels like a snow day and a 10-hour car ride all rolled into one,” Kratter says. He says that schools providing work online for children to do can therefore be seen as “punishment” — "parents need to realize that, or they’ll receive resistance [to an orderly, productive day].” Kratter adds, “If you’re on the phone and the kids are yelling and you can’t talk, they feel rejected.”
Kratter suggests having a family meeting each morning to discuss how the day should go, and putting organization and structure at the top of the parents’ and children’s to-do lists.
“Parents should say, for example, ‘I have a call at 2, homework time starts at 11 … that type of thing,” Kratter says. He adds online play dates can also keep kids occupied in their downtime when the parents are still working. “If a child can make a prearranged time to meet up with a friend online at least he knows he’s not going to be isolated and shut out.”
By Lisa Irizarrylisa.irizarry@newsday.com @lisairiz
https://www.newsday.com/lifestyle/family/working-from-home-kids-1.43422404
What to do when your kid says he's 'stupid'
Newsday 3/26/13 By Valerie Kellogg
What to do when your kid says he's 'stupid'
Newsday 3/26/13 By Valerie Kellogg
One of the most heartbreaking things a parent can hear a child say is, “I am stupid.” It’s like when he skins a knee, breaks a new toy or sees a friend move away -- all you want to do is make it better.
“For most parents, when faced with a situation where their child insists that he is stupid, the initial temptation for the parent is to immediately challenge that assertion and to reassure the child that he is not ‘stupid’ and that he does many things well — very understandable,” says Dr. Jonathan Kratter, a Melville child psychologist.
But here is the problem, Kratter says. “From the child’s perspective, you are not listening to him and you do not really understand how he feels. Sometimes, parents need to hold back in fixing the problem immediately. It can be more helpful to just listen with an empathetic ear, giving the child an opportunity to express his feelings and frustrations and to feel that he is being heard and understood.”
By listening, the child is more likely to hear a parent’s advice, he says.
When you ask other parents, you find it’s not uncommon for kids to get so frustrated about getting a question wrong in class or feeling frustrated by their homework that they put themselves down.
The next time it happens with my 9-year-old, I will try hard to listen and take Dr. Kratter’s advice on the follow-up by saying, “Come over here, give me a big hug, and let’s go plan something fun to do this weekend.”
